Are social media changing religion? -- USA TODAY, June 21, 2010

Internet users are complaining that the privacy settings on Facebook are confusing, and lawmakers are questioning Google about its gathering of e-mail and other personal data from Wi-Fi residential networks. The boundary between private and public information is becoming murkier every day, a blurring that is perhaps inevitable in the world of online surfing and social networking.

But how about religious communities? The boundaries are shifting there as well, because of a growing emphasis in congregations on honest and open sharing in small groups.

Vibrant churches today have Bible studies and support groups for every demographic, and congregational vitality is found in the relationships that develop among people in these groups. I am pushing my own church in this direction, after spending a sabbatical studying Christian hospitality while visiting congregations that are skilled at welcoming and including people.

"In the search for personal spiritual fulfillment," says Eugene Taylor Sutton, bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Maryland, "nothing can replace the joy and lasting value of sharing one's faith journey in person with another human being."

When's God time?

But I have to wonder: Is this trend a threat to privacy? Churches, synagogues, temples and mosques have long been places where people can escape from the world and have an encounter with God. They have literally been "sanctuaries," holy places — not centers for social life or group therapy. I had a member who expressed this desire to me by saying, "I come to church to commune with my God." If congregations become like Facebook, with little privacy or confidentiality, our culture is going to lose the sanctuaries that have been sacred escapes for thousands of years.

They are already disappearing. My Presbyterian colleague Adam McHugh, author of the book Introverts in the Church: Finding Our Place in An Extroverted Culture, describes the experience of walking into an average evangelical church as "walking into a non-alcoholic cocktail party." Quiet reverence is gone, and in its place is a chatty, mingling informality, "where words flow like wine."

McHugh admires the religious convictions of evangelical churches, and understands the value of sharing struggles and spiritual insights in small groups. But he considers himself to be an introvert and knows the difficulty that community life can pose. "Introverts are not necessarily shy or misanthropic," he says, "but we find our energy in solitude, often listen more than we speak, may prefer to observe more than we engage in the middle, and we may connect with God most deeply in silence."

Problems arise when open sharing and participation in small groups become badges of faithfulness. "If you are not comfortable with those things," says McHugh, "then you end up feeling spiritually inadequate or marginalized."

So where can a person go to connect with God in silence? Churches that practice contemplative prayer — which includes chanting, controlled breathing, or silent concentration — can help people to become centered on God in a private and personal way. "Deep personal relationships require something that we seldom acknowledge: time spent in the presence of the other doing nothing particularly useful," says Monsignor Bill Parent of St. Peter's Catholic Church in Waldorf, Md. "Contemplative prayer is ultimately time spent in the presence of God doing nothing useful, which is another way of saying that it is a necessary part of developing a deep personal relationship with God."

The inner peace that comes from prayer and meditation is one reason that Buddhism is growing in the United States. According to the 2008 Pew Forum's U.S Religious Landscape Survey, Buddhism has climbed to the third most practiced religion in America, right behind Christianity and Judaism. American Buddhism's growth is occurring predominantly through the conversion of native-born Americans, not Asians, with the largest group of Buddhists — 40% — being members of Generation X, ages 30 to 49.

Faith as trust

Religious vitality requires a balancing act between private contemplation and public conversation, and both practices require the establishment of trust. Without trust, there can be no deepening of a personal relationship with God, nor can there be an enrichment of relationships with other people. This is true regardless of whether the connections are made through Facebook or through a congregational small group. Once broken, trust is very difficult to regain — a lesson being learned now by Internet companies accused of misusing private information, and churches facing accusations of sexual abuse.

The Protestant Reformer Martin Luther defined faith as trust, not as assent to a particular set of doctrines or church practices, and his insight impacted Christianity throughout the world. It is time for us to rediscover this, and to recognize the danger of opening up our lives to people — or to a higher power — whom we don't know very well or haven't come to trust. Just as it is dangerous to reveal private information on the Internet, it is self-destructive to open up in congregational small groups that are not trustworthy. And while prayer is an activity that does not trigger privacy concerns, it will be of limited value without a personal willingness to put trust in God.

"Balance is key," says McHugh. "Open, honest relationships with people you trust are hugely significant, but so are opportunities to worship in quiet and to listen for God's voice. Churches that have structures and programs that support both values — since we all have both introverted and extroverted elements to our personalities — I think will be the most successful."

In order to continue to grow, Facebook and Google are going to have to show good faith to their members, and prove that they are trustworthy. And so will congregations that want to thrive in an increasingly networked world.

Henry G. Brinton is pastor of Fairfax Presbyterian Church in Virginia and author of an upcoming book on Christian hospitality.