Generosity and Earthly Treasures -- FPC sermon excerpt

Through my 25 years of ministry, I have done hundreds of sessions of premarital counseling. Brides and grooms talk with me about their relationships, their expectations for marriage, and the division of various household responsibilities.

Where we usually bog down is in the topic of money.

Our conversation is light and full of humor when the focus is household repair and maintenance. They’ll say things like, “We both know how to call repairmen!” But when we hit finances, the conversation becomes deadly serious.

Sharing a bed is no problem for most couples, but sharing a checkbook raises issues of control, independence, trust and priorities. It reveals, more than anything else, just how much individuals are willing to invest themselves in a marriage.

The most difficult set of premarital sessions I ever led were in my first church in Connecticut, involving a young woman who had a very clear idea about her relationship with her money. She and her fiancé appeared at first to get along well, and most of their responses to my questions were normal — at least for a strong‑willed wife and rather mild‑mannered husband.

But when we reached finances, she revealed that she would not give him access to her assets. She would contribute her fair share, of course, but she wanted complete control over her cash. The groom did not seem happy about this, so we spent an additional session talking about finances. In the end, I told them that I could not perform their wedding unless they were able to resolve this issue. They left and never returned.

I believe that shared finances are central to a strong relationship. People in our society invest in what is important to them, and joint bank accounts are one way individuals put stock in a marriage. Such accounts force people to move from independence to dependence on one another; they require couples to talk, dream and work together toward common goals.

I tell brides and grooms that shared assets are a tangible sign of commitment, and to illustrate this I often find myself quoting the words of Jesus in the Gospel of Matthew: “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (6:21).

Most couples don’t understand this verse, and get it exactly backwards. They are ready to invest their hearts, but not their treasures. The truth of this passage is that the commitment of treasure helps to strengthen the commitment of the heart. When you put money behind your words, you are showing — not just saying — that you have faith in one another. When your treasure is invested fully in the marriage, your heart will be invested fully as well.

The very same is true in your relationship with Christ and the church. Giving money raises issues of control, trust, and priorities. Many people are happy to invest their hearts, but not their earthly treasures. But Jesus tells us, “Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” Your commitment of earthly treasure helps to strengthen the commitment of your heart.